Flight

By Elida Vargas

I would like to learn about living my life to the fullest, and how to enjoy every minute of it. I would like to learn about the deepest secrets of life…like, did the man really go to the moon? If so, why haven’t they come back? Why don’t they have something like a space ship, that when a guy says” I will give you the moon” he pays for the trip and take you there. How can I have a better relationship with GOD and actually enjoy life?

I will trade all my knowledge just to learn how to be happy every second of my life…how could I make people happy and what is love really about? Happiness is it a stage in life, people say, but how can I make the stages a little longer? Is there a way to learn how to be happy? Does Happiness exist?, is there a happy town where everyone is happy and they make each other happier? Do people know about this town and keep it a secret?

I want to learn the lesson of how to be completely and profoundly happy ….WHY? Because, this is the lesson we all LIVE OR DIE FOR, this is the invention that man can’t figure out yet. Man created the Television, and the Pop Corn, Radio, Music, Chocolate Bubble bath, Nintendo, Phones, but how about happiness? How about the real deal? The Happiness, which does not last an hour or two?. How about the permanent stage of Happiness? The one that you are not afraid is going to be finished, or is going to die, or make you fat, or make stupid. How about happiness for the rest of my life? What can make me happy for ever, it is not the money, because I know people with plenty of money that are not happy. The stage of happiness maybe longer, but the happiness is not permanent; it's just a moment, a trip, a new car, a dress a handsome husband, or a pretty wife, or good looking healthy kids. Happiness is something that we search for our entire lives, the blank space without final answer, the secret of the whole not just the parts. The completed sentence, no just the verb. If happiness really exists what is it and how do I learn before I leave forever this life?
The biggest lesson I have learned in life

I remember almost ten years back, when I wanted to become a flight attendant. I was at my big office in a job that may look fancy on the outside, but on the inside it was the most stressful job in the world. Things were not the same since Carlito’s death, I tried to forget the episode, but I could still listen the family crying and shouting “killers, Killers” and even if it was not me who injected the little boy with the saline solution in his vein instead his I B; I felt responsible have been there and in charge of the Doctors who took care of him when he was hospitalized in Centro Medico Al Alcantara Y Gonzalez. I just wanted to be out of there, out of the place full of doctors, nurses and sick people.

"Yalis! Yalis! You have to see this” said Mr. Kalaf holding the newspaper.

I don’t like to read anymore things about that!

‘Oh, no is not about the boy, is about a job as a flight attendant, read it, read it”.

As I start reading and my heart was going faster and faster.

“You see, I told you!”

But, you know how many people are going to apply? I said waiting for moral support from him.

“Yes, I know but you know languages and you always wanted to fly, no?”

"Ok, I will send my resume by fax!" I said it with and excited voice, so excited that there was a moment that I saw myself wearing the uniform and smiling to my passengers and going to different places, I was interrupted with the a loud snap of the glass door, and there was another patient looking for Dr. Alcantara approval for surgery, after all who need another scandal or law suit.

“Ok, kal I will see you at lunch!" I said grabbing the newspaper only to hide it in the trash can; God forbid my boss saw it!

“Yes” he said smiling at me with the biggest smile you can image. I senr the resume and they called me the next day to set up and interview. The person on the phone sounded very professional, asking all the right questions. I could also tell that the person was not Spanish speaking by the accent.

The day was finally here, when I arrived to the lobby there were about 50 people already, but I didn’t think that they were all there for the same reason.

“Yalis?” the receptionist called my name with confused voice.

“Here," I said now literally feeling my heart pounding under my jacket!

The pilot was the person to interview me; he smelled like this English actor, the one that I was so nervous to remember…oh I know George Clooney. Ok, ok I never actually smelled George Clooney, but he look liked him, so why not smell like him too?

“Do you know how to swim?” he asked without looking at me!

“Yes I do," with out looking at him, and thinking how irrelevant the question was.
After that there were more and more questions, but this all related to flying, going to new places, customers service and so and so.

He motioned that I was elected for the semifinal round.

“The receptionist will call you to set a meeting with you and then you will travel to Puerto Plata were you will stay during the 3 months training.”

“Three months!”

“Yes, three months, is there a problem?”

“No, no,” I lied.

I Left the lobby of the hotel with more questions than answers, my parents will not let me go outside the house for one day…never mind three months. Living in a hotel? , I was full of questions, what will my mom and my father said….”NOT!, you are not going”. I refused to think about negative stuff, I wanted to think about the now, MY DREAM JOB. Well, I went home and I didn’t mention the details, I just talked about the hotel the Gringo and the money. I didn’t give the location (4 hours from home), I did not say that I was going to be staying in a hotel alone, or quitting my real job and not getting paid for 3 months. I considered those "small" details’ compared to the excitement of having the job that was going to make me happy.

I think that was the longest week of my life but I finally got the phone call, and then I managed to tell my parents. I also questioned their parental skill.
Like,”Why did you send me to study different languages, if I can’t use it anywhere else?”

“Since there is not used for school, then I’m never going back." I said with a very firm voice. I said it as a last resource of when you know or feel you are about to lose a battle.

My parents were in silence for about five minutes and then they started reading the rules.

“You have to call every night, you have to take care of yourself more than ever, and if anything happens, you have to come back right way , ok?”

“Yes, yes” when inside all I said was BINGO! I said, already forgetting half of everything they said.

Time passed really fast and soon I was very close to becoming a flight attendant. We took classes all day, this was the last week and all my test scores were over 90, and I was in the schedule to be the first to fly.

“Girls, girls I know you are very happy and everything, but you have to rest for you final exam.”

Final exam, didn’t we take that one yesterday? Everyone started to talk at the same time.

“Shishhhh, silent, silent, I am talking about the exam with the Federation for National Aviation. This test will be divided in three parts: one you will be in a plane, you must take everyone outside the plane in 5 minutes, and next one will be in the pool and the last will be open water, Ok?"

I don’t remember the rest of the sentences or instructions because my head didn’t stop spinning. Water, pool, open water, I didn’t know planes had anything to do with water. There's only drinking water in the plane…is this a joke?

I asked my teacher with a very confused and upset voice. “Excuse me I think I misunderstood what you said?"

“What part?"
“Well, maybe it's a joke, but what does water have to do with flying?”

“Nothing really! As long as we don’t crash”

I laughed, but she was serious like a statue.

“But, you don’t have anything to worry, you know how to swim, otherwise you wouldn’t be here, we ask that question to everyone."

I felt like the world had fallen over me and crushed all my dreams; I never knew you have to know how to swim to be a fight attendant. I lie when they asked me because I thought it was irrelevant, now what I’m going to do? What will I do when I not only didn’t know how to swim, but I was terrified of water? I only knew how to sink! Sinking is what I knew and that was what I was doing…SINKING like the Titanic. That night I went to the pool and I sat in the hast surface looking down thinking how did I get so far and now I was about to lose everything I ever wanted? I tried swimming but magic does not exist even for the dreamers like me. I lied and now I had to pay the price.
The sun was up and it was the same sun that I saw everyday like the perfect frame for my dream. I couldn’t sleep the entire night, how can I? I had to think about what I would say to my family, to my friends and also to the people that had spent their time and money to make me a good flight attendant.

“OH MY GOD, you look like shit,” said Maria wearing her bathing suit already.
“I couldn’t sleep last night.”

“Why not?” she asked.

I put my head down and my breath was as weak as I felt. My tears were falling down my face and soon, I was confessing my secret to Maria the girl that had been sharing my room for almost three months.

“I don’t know how to swim!”

“What do you mean by you don’t know how to swim?”

“No I don’t."

“How the hell you came here? Don’t you know that we have to swim, save someone from drowning, they are going to throw us in the water with hands tied to see if you can still survive without hands and swim in open water to the yellow boat."

I was thinking she was making it up until I read the itinerary that she was holding. We both left the room, I went to talk to the Pilot in charge and she went to meet with the rest of the group for breakfast like we all did every morning. I didn’t find Mrs. Rivera (my teacher) or the pilot, so I headed to the dining room of the hotel. Once there I saw how everyone in the group knew my secret. Some of them were smiling at me, others put their head down and soon I was there looking at them with out words.

“ATTENTION!!” said a guy in a yellow and black suit.

To the pool everyone vacations are over.

I walked not because I was going with them, but because I knew that Mrs. Rivera had to be there, and the other part of me was not thinking. I was more like a robot; my life and my dreams were over and that is what makes humans apart from robots, dreams and hope.

There I was, only a few feet way from the pool, the water was so blue so clear so beautiful inviting me almost. I stood there knowing that I had deceived every thing and every one and now it was OVER. Very soon I realized that the only thing keeping me from my dream was my fear, my fear of the water. Until I asked myself what was worse to die swimming or to feel like I was given this opportunity and I let it go. I heard a beep and there are many things that I remember. One of them was me jumping in the water and swimming to the other side of the pool, now I;m not telling you that I became Michael Phelps, but I was swimming so fast that the instructor jumped in the water to stop me. He held my arms and asked me very upset.

“Are you out your mind, it's not you turn!"

I didn’t care; all I knew is that no one could stop me now. I was free and I was in the water moving my legs my hands and my feet, but no sinking-- just there.

“I’m sorry, I heard my name.”

“You heard your name? Get out!”

“I did, but I took the longest way out as if I just discovered how to walk. The girls were looking at me in a weird way, some of them were in shock and others were probably thinking that I made it all up.

“You lie to me you knew how to swim and you lie!!”
“No, I didn’t know, but I learned."

Maria turned her back to me and the rest is history, or not really history. On February 17 of 1996 the plane crashed just eleven minutes after taking off. Everyone on that flight lost their life, including Maria, on the coast of Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic. I was scheduled to do my first professional flight, but I didn’t make it. The why is not important, but how this became the biggest lesson of my life. LIES will come back to you no matter how small they are, FEAR is our worst enemy, and DREAMS are our internal engine. As long as we have dreams our life will go on, we will be different from Robots, machines and animals.